Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
