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It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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