She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
i think i just lost a toe
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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