I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize