How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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