i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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