Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Randomize
