just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
