me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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