No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize