This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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