We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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