The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
