I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
