Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
