I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
