Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
