laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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