You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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