Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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