I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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