Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
