I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
