He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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