Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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