reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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