do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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