idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
