dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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