you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
