Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
