Why are handjobs necessary in class?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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