just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
