we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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