I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
