I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
