So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
