He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
