It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
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