o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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