Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Randomize
