You made me cry and you don't even care
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
