somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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