woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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