I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
