I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
