so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
