he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
