He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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