I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
