OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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