I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
