oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
