so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
