just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
