Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
