i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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