you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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