would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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