Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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